MV Review | Holland "Loved You Better"

 Miranda Rodriquez

First Posted |12/21/19 | 12:50 AM PST

MV Review | Holland "Loved You Better"

Pre-Viewing Thoughts: Before I view  this MV, I'm guessing that this is going to be another one of Holland's more sad songs. Every "I've Loved You Better" song I've ever heard is usually about a breakup. The thumb nail for the video looks kind of . . . deep and makes me think that the lyrics are going to have a lot of deep meaning to it. I also assume that like most of his other songs, this will be more soft and mellow. And of course there's normally a kiss as well. Lets see what's gonna happen.

After Viewing Thoughts: Wow . . . Just wow. Holland does it again. This is so deeply moving I really don't know what to say. One second into the song and you could tell that this was either about a deep heartbreak, or something else deeply meaningful to him. At first when I saw the bruises and scares on his body, I assumed domestic violence, which I have seen first hand with people I knew or have met at my job. As the song progressed and I listened/read the lyrics I quickly realized that this was about being bullied. About him being tormented for what he was.

It shows him in a school, and in a school uniform, giving us a glimpse that he was heavily tormented in either high school, middle school, or both as he learned about himself and his preferences. It shows him standing in front of and looking into a mirror many times, really showing that he is the center of this song, not a past love, or crush. There is even a part where it really hit hard in my heart. He makes a gun shape with his hand and fake shoots himself. Confetti and sparkles them fly out the back of his head. He was under so much pressure and so much stress that suicide had passed his mind. With the recent deaths of Sulli and Gu Hara from suicide, and the anniversary of Jonghyun's suicide, it really hit me hard seeing that, but I think that's the point. He wanted to show his viewers and give an impact of how a lot of people in his situation are treated and how much they have to overcome.

I have to say the ending was my absolute favorite part. They lyrics, the music, the scenes, and him just all melded together so perfectly to show his self love realized. You truly get a sense of "Wish I loved you better" referring to "I wish I loved myself better/I'm going to love myself better". They way he puts on his make-up and gets dressed up, dances around and smiles at the camera like a relief to finally show himself is perfect. There's no other word to describe it but perfect!

It is really amazing to finally see an out Kpop star representing the LGBTQ+ world so openly. There are such themes in Kpop MV's and even drama's, however they are either seldom done, jokes, or very light as not to push to far. Holland is breaking down the walls of a lot of South Korea's anti-progressive view points.

Side note: I have now confirmed something in my head I had only assumed before . . .